Wednesday, March 27, 2013

When Chris met Sharon (A Fairytale)

Once upon a time, in the far off land of Cedar City, there lived a fair maiden, with golden hair and sapphire eyes. She claimed that her eyes were emerald, but she was wrong. Her name was Sharon, and she lived all alone, in a secluded room of RA, in the Great Hall of Juniper. She cared for the lesser creatures who also lived in the hall. Many of these beings were away from their lands for the first time, and could barely feed and clothe themselves. Sharon was a kind hearted maiden, and took pity on them. They loved her dearly.

In the Hall of Juniper, there also lived a red headed wizard, who was full of mischief and magic. His name was Aaron, and he had an enchanted laundry basket.

One day, Aaron's friend from long ago came to visit him in Cedar City. His name was Chris, and Aaron owed him a great debt, for many years ago, Chris had given Aaron half of his brain -- for sadly, Aaron had no brain of his own. Aaron longed to repay Chris for this sacrifice, and knew he could not do it without convincing Chris to move to the City of Cedar, permanently. He did this in a matter of days. It was easy to convince Chris to do things because he only had half a brain, and he was very tired. You see, after crossing into the Land of Cedar, Chris was immediately hexed and found himself held captive every other night at an evil castle called Cash Saver. Held all night long Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, Chris soon became no better than a babbling idiot zombie.

Aaron, with his half brain, tried to conceive of a way to bring life back to his friend. First he took him to a local tavern called JB's where Chris, little better than a talking crash test dummy at this point, hit on a red headed waitress named Heather. He flirted with her all night, and then left his phone number on the bill, and left. Aaron watched all of this, and knew he had to act fast. This was not the Chris he knew. Chris did not hit on red headed waitresses. Or any of the other kind either. Clearly this Heather had cast a spell on him. Chris only had half a brain, and even that was questionable at this point.

Aaron went back to his lair, where he thought and he thought, and he slept and then he thought some more. And then he ate. And then he thought. One afternoon, while strolling the corridors of the Hall of Juniper, Aaron saw Sharon, the sapphire eyed, golden haired fair maiden, and he had a thought.

"What if I shaved my head?"

But then he had another thought....

"I need to do laundry."

Sharon passed by Aaron, and patted him on the head. Sharon knew that Aaron was one of the "special" people, that she was charged with caring for. She knew he was addle brained, but she didn't know that he had an enchanted laundry basket.

An enchanted laundry basket of destiny.

And destiny came calling later that afternoon.

Chris, who had once again been held over night at the Cash Saver, had stumbled into Aaron's lair, early in the morning, and quickly fallen into a deep sleep. Later in the afternoon, when he awoke, he found that he was alone and hungered. He rose from his bed, bleary eyed, and disheveled.

"Food!" he cried. "I require sustenance, but am a lad of half a brain, and incapable of caring for myself. I must find Aaron!"

"AAAAAAARRRRRROOOONNNNNN!" he bellowed, as he stumbled through the Hall of Juniper, toward the Great Room. 

He came to the top of a great staircase, and nearly fell down it, due to his fatigue and malnourishment.

Now, at that moment, the planets aligned. Aaron came into the Great Room, with his enchanted laundry basket, just as Sharon, the fair, golden haired, sapphire eyed maiden emerged from her chambers. Aaron had a flash of insight, that caused his head to hurt, but he concentrated carefully, because he knew something important was happening. He knew that Sharon was a kind, and generous being. He looked up to see Chris stumbling down the great staircase, and thought, if ever there was a poor, half brained, zombie-fied creature in need of kindness and was Chris.

 Aaron also knew that Sharon, the golden haired, sapphire eyed, fair maiden, was no fool. But Aaron was a wizard, and he could be especially persuasive. He closed Sharon's ears to the bellowing of Chris, and blinded her to his presence. The spell would only last for a few moments, he had to move quickly. Aaron brought Sharon into the Great Room, and sat her before the fireplace, just as Chris stumbled into the room...

Aaron slid his laundry basket in front of Sharon, and cast his most powerful spell of all -- just as he maneuvered Chris to sit on the laundry. As Chris settled into the pile of clothes, before Sharon, he was transformed, in her eyes. Yes, the spell that Aaron cast changed Chris's appearance -- but only to Sharon. What had been a drooling, stumbling, bleary husk of a man, became, at least in Sharon's eyes, a handsome, strong, if not particularly smart (magic has it's limits) man. Her sapphire eyes sparkled. Her heart beat a little faster. She smiled at him.

Even through the fog of his half brain, Chris knew beauty when he saw it. Chris, for all of his shortcomings, had one special power -- the ability to see beauty. True beauty. Chris could barely dress himself, but he could discern beauty, in all it's forms, and when he saw Sharon's smile, he knew he would never again meet anyone so beautiful in this life. He was smitten, and pledged then and there to do all he could to win the heart of this sapphire eyed, golden haired fair maiden. And with the help of Aaron's spell, he soon convinced Sharon to go on a date with him, and from then on Sharon was never out of Chris's sight for long.

He held her hand. He enchanted her with his simpleton ways. He professed his love so earnestly, that Sharon took pity on him, and married him. She may have been blind to his hideous appearance, but she understood that this poor creature would never survive without someone to give him kindness and generosity. And love.

Aaron felt badly for deceiving Sharon with such a  dastardly spell, but such was his half brained commitment to his half brained friend, that he was willing to face any consequence, to see to Chris's happiness.

His punishment was that all of his hair fell out.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.


Emmy said...

Well if just his hair fell out that wasn't too bad, I was worried he would be doomed to living alone or something.

fun story- always fun to read how people meet, even when written as a fairy tale :)

Emily said...

Ok, best story ever.