Photostory Friday: In With Both Feet

Hosted by Cecily and Izzy 'N Emmy

I was not this child.

I was meek, unassuming, and timid. I was not an adrenaline junkie. I was not a thrill seeker. I was perfectly happy to watch life from the sidelines.

Which is not to say that I did.

My best friend, Aaron, was the perfect compliment to me growing up. He brought the adventure, I brought the sanity. He was the reason we had fun, I was the reason we survived to tell about it. Yin and Yang.

I'm different as an adult. To say I live on the edge would be...well...a lie, but I don't shy away from thrilling experiences anymore.

When my first two kids came along, they were -- and still are -- just like I was as a child. Timid, cautious, careful.

But this one:

You say you'd like to make our country energy independent? Just hook the cables up to Emma, light up North America, and sell the excess energy to some other poor country.

Emma is perpetual motion. I don't think she's quite old enough to understand this yet, but adrenaline lights her up like a roman candle. She thrills to the thrills of life.

Emma has gone on more big amusement park rides at a far earlier age than the other kids -- or her father at that age, for that matter. In fact, when Emma decides to tackle a new ride, sometimes she'll ask "Where is the scariest place to sit on this ride?"

And then she sits there.

When I stopped and thought about it, I realized what a great way that is to live your life. If you face your biggest fear first, nothing else that comes afterward is as hard to deal with.

Why is this any different for a six year old than it is for a thirty-six year old?

365: Week 37

Day 254

September 10: Has your twelve year old daughter ever forgotten to tell you that she has eight warts on her foot that are so blistered and painful that she can't walk? Eight warts that need to be scooped out with a mini-ice cream scoop by the doctor? That's what happened at our house Thursday.

Now that I look at the picture, I see that Jordan is missing her pinky toe. I should really pay closer attention to what my kids are doing.

Day 255

September 11: Cheap Friday night date.

This is the remote for our iMac. It allows access to several multi media programs on the computer, including upcoming movie previews. And that's what we did for two hours friday night: Sherlock, Toy Story 3, The Wolfman and Where the Wild things Are, look great.

Oh, and my wife is definitely looking forward to New Moon -- she's a Jacob fan (which is putting it mildly).

Day 256

September 12: This is what "washing Dad's car" looks like. Evidently Dad's car wears a #13 yellow soccer jersey. And glasses.

Notice the look of satisfaction on Emma's face?

Day 257

September 13: It was getting late, and I was indecisive.

Day 258

September 14: Another day at work, another day of shooting the weeds.

Day 259

September 15: Apparently some of the local trees are getting a head start on the dropping their leaves thing. Actually, I was trying to take a picture of a very green tree, against a very dark storm cloud, but it didn't turn out. I shot this tree accidentally.

Some days I'm just glad I remember to take a picture.

Day 260

September 16: Matthew dreams of making the highlight reel. And if they had a highlight reel for spectacular catches made on the trampoline, he would.

Out of the Darkness

I tried to think of a clever opening line here.

I tried to compose a sentence to grab your attention and hold it -- to keep you here long enough to read what I have to talk about tonight. But I can't think of anything but the straight forward truth to write about a very difficult subject: suicide.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states that every sixteen minutes in the United States, someone dies by suicide, and every seventeen minutes someone is left to make sense of it.

And therein lies the Hell of it -- there is no sense. There is no acceptable explanation.

We all know someone, or know of someone, who has chosen to end their own life. I can't, and won't, speculate on the fate of the souls of these individuals, that's not my purpose. But I do know the fate of the loved ones they leave behind:

Emptiness.

Anger.

Shock.

Unfathomable grief.

Irresolution.

This last spring, Emily, one of my oldest and dearest friends, lost her brother Jed to suicide. I knew Jed, but not well. However, I know his little sister and his parents very well. I know of their love for Jed and I know of the void in their lives. I saw the pain in their eyes, I feel it in talking to Emily now. Jed's death is like an overhanging shroud in their lives. His passing influences nearly every thought.

In memory of her brother, Emily has registered a team to walk in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

I'll let Emily tell you more:

"As you know I lost my brother, Jed, this past March. My family and I have been forever changed by this tragic event. In his memory I have registered a team to walk in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The Salt Lake City walk is on September 26th, at 10am, at Wheeler Farm. It is a 3-5 mile scenic walk and proceeds from this event will fund research, education, survivor, and awareness programs - both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by suicide.

My hope is that through education and awareness, those suffering from mental illness will be prompted to seek help so that other families don't have to suffer through this same nightmare.

The link is http://www.outofthedarkness.org and my team name is "Remembering Jed". You can register to walk, create your own team, or donate from that link.

Let me know if you have any questions and if you are willing to help me spread the word.

Thanks so much!
Em"

I'm going to keep this link up here on my blog through September 26. I hope it will be a benefit to some of you.

The human spirit is quite a thing, isn't it? We long to make things better. We want to cope. We want to tell our story.

We fight the helplessness by helping others.

Photostory Friday & Give Me Your Best Shot: Words fail me

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

How do I tell you about my daughter Jordan, who turned twelve this week?

I've been sitting here for nearly an hour, staring at a blank page. Starting, thinking and starting over. Words fail me.

How do I tell you that Jordan is my favorite subject to photograph?

How do I tell you that Jordan is grace and elegance, like her mother?

How do I tell you that Jordan radiates beauty from her core?

How can I help you to see that aging doesn't really bother me (I've come to terms -- mostly -- with what I am, and what I am not), but watching Jordan grow up -- more than my other children -- is emotionally conflicting for me?

How can I explain the odd, but powerful combination of quiet pride, and melancholy I feel as I watch her step -- sometimes with caution, sometimes with certainty -- into womanhood?

How do I describe the fear of knowing that I have to let go of her hand, and the confidence I have that she can make good decisions?

How can I tell you that sometimes the stunning young woman standing before me seems light years from the beautiful little blonde girl, with the big blue eyes, I once carried in my arms, but when I see those eyes through my lens, I'm as hypnotized as I ever was?

How can I long for her to stay as she is, when I know she wants to be more?

How do I let her fly without letting her go?

How do I let Jordan know that I'm okay with her growing up?

Because I am.

Except that I'm not.

365: Week 36

Day 247

September 3: Evidently the local McDonald's needs to charge these exorbitant prices in order to pay for a new "W" for their sign.

Day 248

September 4: Friday night we headed out into the Great Salt Lake, for the 3rd Annual Antelope Island Balloon and Kite Stampede. This is the first year we've gone. There were four hot air balloons and no kites. Which begs the question: What did it look like the first year?

Day 249

September 5: Opening day of the 2009 college football season. #20 BYU taking on #3 Oklahoma, with their Heisman trophy winning quarterback and fresh off their appearance in the (so called) national championship. You may remember that game, it was the one where two teams with one loss each played a game and called the winner the national champion, rather than the undefeated University of Utah who demolished Alabama in the Sugar Bowl and had to settle for 2nd place....but I digress....

#20 BYU knocks off #3 Oklahoma -- 14-13 -- and rocks the college football world in the first week of play.

I LOVE THIS GAME!

Day 250

September 6: I did not take this picture. This is the moment from the game on Saturday where McKay Jacobsen catches the seven yard pass from Max Hall for the winning touchdown.

This is where my head was for the entire day Sunday, and consequently I woke up in a cold sweat, early Monday morning, and realized that, for the second time this year, I forgot to take a picture.

Forgive me, I was still mentally in Texas.

Day 251

September 7: At 4:50 am, twelve years ago today, I became a father. To celebrate Jordan's birthday, Monday afternoon, I took her out for a little photo shoot.

I started taking pictures seriously when Jordan was born. She is my most photographed subject, she is my best model, the most beautiful pictures I've ever taken are of Jordan.

Having had a camera in front of her all her life, Jordan is a natural when it comes to posing for me -- we almost don't have to speak, she instinctively knows what I want her to do. It's a connection I treasure, especially as we head in to the murky future of teenagerdom.

Day 252

September 8: The Wall.

This is a large wall inside the front door of our home. It's where I display all my current favorite pictures. I change it out two or three time a year. Tuesday night I was instructed to swap out the photos for new images in preparation for the Annual Pampered Chef party on Wednesday (which was a bigger success than that Balloon and Kite Stampede, incidentally).

Day 253

September 9: Do you ever find yourself reaching the end of another week in your 365 day photo project, and find that you just have no idea what to take a picture of, and as you're sitting in the parking lot at Walmart, you look out your window and see these kind of cool looking weeds, so you snap a picture and call it good?

What a coincidence, that's EXACTLY what happened to me tonight.

Photostory Friday: Fishing the Sky

Hosted by Cecily and Chris

"Time is but a stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it, but while I drink I see the sandy bottom, and detect how shallow it is. It's thin current slides away, but eternity remains.

I would drink deeper; fish the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars."

--Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes Thoreau sends me over the edge, but I love this quote.

This year, 2009, I have assigned myself the project of taking at least one picture per day for the entire year. This seems like a rather simple task unless you add the burden of trying to make your pictures at least marginally interesting.

After the first month or so, I found my inspiration lacking on about six out of every seven days, so I developed certain fallback procedures:

Shoot the flowers in the front yard.

Shoot the weeds at work.

Shoot the kids (I just like to write that sentence).

And my number one rule: Never. EVER. Pass up a beautiful sky.

The sky is an ever changing work of art in the greatest gallery of all. I almost never fail to be inspired when I look up.

We are dreamers, we human beings. And when we dream, we dream vertically. I think it's programmed in our very nature. We use the expression "The sky's the limit" precisely because the sky has no limit. As far as we may venture, there is always a farther destination. Always possibility. Always a place to reach. We wish on the stars and we chase the rainbows.

There is always a beyond.

The sky seems designed to entice us, and to inspire us. A beautiful sky stops you in your tracks, it renews you and uplifts you. It calls on you to climb higher; to leave here and go there.

As Thoreau said, it makes you drink deeper.

This is fishing the sky.

Also, I'd like to thank Cecily for the opportunity to host Photostory Friday with her this week. PSF has been a marvelous creative outlet for me, and I'm honored that you asked.

Thanks, Cec.

p.s. Even though the code box looks blank it really is there when you highlight it. I swear!

Hosted by Cecily and Chris

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365: Week 35

Day 240

August 27: Just messing around with the bulb setting on my camera. This is a street light, I had to move the camera in the shape of a star -- not as easy as you might think.

Day 241

August 28: My friend Cecily and I have long talked of getting her Gracie and my Emma together -- we only hesitated out of fear for the impact it might have on the planet and all life as we know it. We finally tried it Friday night, and it turns out we all survived (you had no idea how close you came to annihilation did you?).

Here they had me spinning them on a tire swing. "Faster!" the shouted, "Faster!!!"

I finally had to walk away so that I didn't throw up.

Day 242

August 29: This is my niece Annie. She's three. She moved to Germany today (Wednesday the 2nd) for the next three years. She and I have had a very close relationship all of her life, and I hope she doesn't forget me. The last time she spoke to me was when she whispered in my ear, as she gave me that final hug, "I love you uncle Chris, I'm going to Germany."

I miss you already Annie.

Day 243

August 30: This is Cooper, Annie's little brother.

He wasn't sure what these things were, but he sure was proud of them.

Day 244

August 31: Remember when you were a kid, and the thing inside the cereal box was better than the cereal itself?

Well, with the release of the new Star Trek movie this summer, Kellogg's launched a promotional campaign which included these communicator buttons (I think that's what they're called -- I'm not a Trekkie, or Trekker or whatever it is they prefer to be called. I'm a Star Wars guy, and it pains me to admit that this Star Trek movie was better than all of the Star Wars prequels. It was VERY good.......but I digress....)

I wasn't planning on collecting these things, but the first three boxes of cereal I ate, back in May, yielded three different buttons. I was hooked. I got the fourth button sometime in June. And then I went dry. Kellogg's ended the promotion in July, so for the last month and a half I've been scouring the back, dusty corners of the cereal shelves. I've cleaned out Walmart and Target, and nearly finished off Albertson's -- and then today -- August 31!! -- as I opened the umpteenth box of Rice Crispies, there it was: THE FIFTH BUTTON!

I collect a LOT of things, but I'm not sure I've ever completed a collection of any kind.

I feel like I've made some real progress here. Oh, and if any of you are collecting these buttons, I have plenty of spares, of all but one...

Day 245

September 1: I have a way with little kids, I really do. I can make them laugh -- or at least smile -- in fairly short order. (I think we connect on a very basic level).

Except this one.

We had something of a neighborhood gathering tonight, and this little beauty was there. But she wouldn't smile at me for anything.

Maybe I'm losing my touch...

Day 246

September 2: Sometimes you just have to look up. And sometimes -- often times -- simplicity is beauty.