Saturday, June 12, 2010

Things I did once: #12

Have you ever heard a praying mantis scream?

Me either.

But I'm pretty sure this guy was screaming at me,  it was just too quietly for me to hear. In fact, I'll bet he was calling me every name in the book, as well as calling down curses upon my head, and generations of my family yet unborn.

See, life is precarious -- especially when you're a bug. You spend all of your time either searching for food (important) or trying not to become food yourself (even more important).

So, when I found this little guy in the warehouse that I worked in, my heart went out to him. Where would he ever find food inside a dark warehouse? So I did the only thing I could do -- I set him free.

I'm pretty sure this is where the screaming started.

It never occurred to me that he WANTED to be in the warehouse, that he'd worked hard to get where he was.


At least it didn't occur to me until I decided to ask him to sit for a portrait. I figured, as his liberator, I could impose on him for a few pictures. Shortly after this picture (where I can almost see him flipping me off), an opportunistic bird flew down and ate him. I had him so exposed that an astigmatic bird could have found him.

He was probably a virgin too.

I feel terrible about this.

6 comments:

Aaron said...

I'm channeling a bug...a bug you know....Mr. mantis....are you there?

"Thanks for helping out buddy...freaking jerk...had it great in there, tons of creepy crawlies hiding in dark damp places and you come along pretending to be all noble and.... {BANG}...just like that I get eaten by the very bird I have been avoiding for weeks. I'll haunt you for years. Just when you least expect, my cousin is going to jump on your face....."

....and Mr. Mantis has left us.

Kat said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Okay, I am laughing so hard I have to go to the bathroom.

Excuse me...

Krystyn said...

Oh, that poor virgin preying mantis...you would do that to him, wouldn't you?

Emmy said...

I think the green ones are the females, so you were just looking out for your gender ;)

lisaschaos said...

You have me laughing so hard! I did not see that end coming! lol He does look perturbed!

kris... said...

he was probably a virgin... oh my gosh, that is the FUNNIEST thing I've heard in a LONG time! I nearly wet the bed just now.