Did you know it was stupid when you did it, but you did it anyway?
Did warning bells go off in your head as you began?
Were you in church at the time?
Here's the story:
You may recall that, when left to my own devices, I tend to get a little curious and fidgety. This occasionally results in humor, and almost always results in pain.
So, we were sitting in church, and it's not that I don't pay attention, it's just that my son had just removed his little clip on tie, and I was holding it. And maybe I was playing with it a little -- clamping it on the ends of my fingers. And maybe I wondered what would happen if I clipped it on to my bottom lip.
Maybe I wondered just enough to try it...
You know, where people are quiet.
As it turns out, not only is clamping something on to your lip immediately and excruciatingly painful, but your lip is VERY flexible, and therefore only continues to stretch as you yank on the demon that has just attached itself to your face.
The tie would not come off.
Did I mention I was in church -- where people worship reverently?
Frankly, I have no idea how many people saw me (other than my family, who always have a front row seat to these episodes of idiocy), because I became very single minded, very quickly -- in all the universe there was just me and the rabid tie.
Actually, I do know that, aside from the initial yelp, I had the presence of mind not to scream, but the break dancing show in our pew must have given a new definition to the term "Holy Roller."
That's my story.