Friday, May 7, 2010

Things I did once: #11

Have you ever done something you really shouldn't have done?

Did you know it was stupid when you did it, but you did it anyway?

Did warning bells go off in your head as you began?


DANGER! DANGER!


Were you in church at the time?

Me too.

Here's the story:

You may recall that, when left to my own devices, I tend to get a little curious and fidgety. This occasionally results in humor, and almost always results in pain.

So, we were sitting in church, and it's not that I don't pay attention, it's just that my son had just removed his little clip on tie, and I was holding it. And maybe I was playing with it a little -- clamping it on the ends of my fingers. And maybe I wondered what would happen if I clipped it on to my bottom lip.



Maybe I wondered just enough to try it...

In church.

You know, where people are quiet.

As it turns out, not only is clamping something on to your lip immediately and excruciatingly painful, but your lip is VERY flexible, and therefore only continues to stretch as you yank on the demon that has just attached itself to your face.



The tie would not come off.

Did I mention I was in church -- where people worship reverently?

Frankly, I have no idea how many people saw me (other than my family, who always have a front row seat to these episodes of idiocy), because I became very single minded, very quickly -- in all the universe there was just me and the rabid tie.

Actually, I do know that, aside from the initial yelp, I had the presence of mind not to scream, but the break dancing show in our pew must have given a new definition to the term "Holy Roller."



That's my story.

15 comments:

Nicole said...

LOL that would be my husband!!! No permanent damage only the memory left in half of your church members!

From Tracie said...

ROFL! This is exactly the sort of thing I would do!! So funny!

imbeingheldhostage said...

We're supposed to have warning bells?

Sharon is such a lucky woman :-)

Pam Emmons said...

If I come to church with you this summer, are you going to do this? It would be a bit embarrassing.

The funny thing is, I can see this entire thing in my head. Exactly.

stephbouf2 said...

OMGOSH!! Taht is soooo FuNnYYYY!!! :D I waz crackin up!! I did something like that..except well it wasn't in church. LOL! Great Story Chris!

Aaron said...

....you are soooo.......alert.

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

oh how I wish I was at your church at that point in time!!! HYSTERICAL!!

Mom24 said...

ROTFL. I really needed that tonight. Thanks.

Ouch!

Emily said...

I'm sure people started praying for you! ;)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I..uh...hesitate to say that I have done similar things. I wish we had a photo. :-)

kaye said...

you crack me up :D

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Oh my heck! Wish I had been in your ward that Sunday! That would have been hilarious! :D

Honey Mommy said...

Oh how I wish I was there too! Nothing that hilarious ever happens in my ward!

At least now I know how deadly those clip on ties can be... now I can avoid them. Thanks for the life lessons Chris.

Laura said...

Hyrum asked me as I was reading this, "What are you laughing at, mom?" I don't know where I was that day, but I didn't see it happening. Too bad.
Funny thing, though, is that Hyrum didn't ask me, when he interrupted my reading your post about the boy who was murdered, why there were tears streaming down my face and I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry about the fight he and Annie were having.

kris... said...

I... have actually done this. But not at church. I'm sure glad you don't want to hear my stories of things I've done once...