Secondly, to all the flying bugs in my backyard...UP YOURS! I would have said "Bite Me," but you've already done that. Yes, I'm talking to you, Mosquitos! What is it with my ankles and my knuckles? And to the hornets, wasps, yellow jackets (whatever the hell you are), unlike mosquitos, you at least serve a purpose on this planet. I can respect that. But, you've got to stop stinging my kids! I'm a live and let live kind of guy. I go out of my way NOT to step on bugs and I try to teach my children the same thing, and this is how you repay me?
I realize you're just "being yourself" but I don't like you any more. This is my house and my yard, and I paid A LOT of money for it (OK, I've agreed to pay a lot of money, over the next thirty years) and there is a beautiful view in the back yard -- the sunset to one side and the mountains to the other. But, I can't enjoy either one, because, when I go out in the evening, one of the two of you either stings me or sucks my blood! I'm sick of it. This is war! I'm going to kill everyone of you! And then I'm going to cut off your little heads and mount them on tooth picks, and stick them all over the yard as a warning to others to STAY AWAY!
Okay, I spoke too soon about the flying bugs, the dragonflies can stay. You're pretty cool.
There, I feel better.
No, I don't.