My wife tells me that I need to be posting more than just twice a week.
This was her idea.
My most embarrassing moments.
We all do it. It's one of the ways we express affection and appreciation. Athletes do it -- manly men. Parents do it. We don't even give it a second thought. EVERYONE does it!
What is it?
It's the butt pat.
And when it's done to that "special person" there's a little extra zzziinnnggg!!! Maybe your hand lingers just a little bit, your fingers caressing just a little, because...it's okay....
Have you ever had a moment where your body acted without checking with your brain first?
Here's how it went down:
Me: (washing dishes, with that special woman) "Looks like the dishes are done, thanks for the help. I love you."
That special woman: "No problem. I love you too."
Me: Swatting -- ZZZZIIINGGG!....lingering.......(I can't believe I'm typing this)...caressing...turning and walking away......
Me: "Sorry about that mom."
Well, that moment is only eclipsed by this one:
Men only have so much blood in their bodies, and it's generally all concentrated in one area or another -- and if it's SOMEWHERE ELSE then it's not in the brain, doing all those brainy, thinky things. And the brain is way up in the head -- the blood is fighting gravity all the way.
Here's the scene:
My wife and I are in the hotel in San Diego. It's our honeymoon. We're both new at doing IT, and we've been.......... practicing.
My wife has headed into the restroom. After a moment, I follow her.
The blood is really fighting gravity.
I slide open the door and see my naked bride (the blood just took a nose dive), sitting on the toilet.
Me: (Feeling randy and masculine and hot and a little dirty and oblivious to anything but the naked woman before me, and in my best, and irresistible and sexiest, come-hither-and-try-to-control-yourself-on-second-thought-don't voice) "Hey baby! What are you doin'?"
My bride: "What do you think I'm doing?"