Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My Kitchen Table (or, scraping the bottom of the creative barrel)

Does anyone use their kitchen table for eating meals anymore?

We don't. We eat in front of the television -- lately we've been watching episodes of Mythbusters on Netflix. But we do it as a family, and that's what counts, right?

No, our kitchen table is just one giant collector of stuff -- like every other surface in the house.  I don't know if this means we have too much stuff, or our house is too small -- probably both. I'm sitting here, trying not to commit myself to any kind of long blog post tonight (because I just got some sweet Scooby Doo episodes -- also courtesy of Netflix -- that I have been trying to watch for three nights, but keep falling asleep. I'm determined to watch them tonight. Never mind that I've seen them a hundred times as a kid)...

Wow...I really lost control of that last sentence. What I was trying to say was that, in my attempt to be brief tonight, I think I'll just take a quick inventory of my kitchen table:

1. iMac computer. You might think this should go on the desk. You might be wrong. Yes, we have a desk. It's also covered in overflowage.

Yeah, I just coined that word.

2. Printer and paper. The only paper we have is legal size -- which means we have to trim everything we print.

3. iPad. It's never far away -- which is kind of a sad statement.

4. A small twisty camera tripod. It look like an orange and white spider, and I've never used it. But I got a great deal on it, so I display it on my kitchen table. That probably goes without saying.

5. Hello Kitty headphones. These are not mine. Mine are the black ones -- also on the table.

6. Earbuds. These are mine. Sometimes your audio needs call for great big ear covering headphones, and sometimes they call for more discreet measures. Like when you're at work. Or the Jr. High band concert. Or church.

7. Suave Lotion. Everlasting Sunshine. This is also mine (I'm sensing a trend here...) My body is addicted to lotion. Everlasting Sunshine smells like rainbows and kittens, and I'm not afraid to admit I like it. I'm not insecure about it at all.

8. Four merit badges: Mammal Studies, Nature, Field Sports, and Wilderness Survival. Well, I know THOSE aren't mine.

9. A stack of CDs -- a stack of unknowns and Garth Brooks: Sevens, on top. Really? Garth Brooks? How long has that thing been sitting on the table?

10. 8x10 picture of some wildflowers in the Albion Basin, that I took three years ago. Seriously, how often do we clean this table off?

11. One pack of Stride ID Peppermint gum. There are nine pieces missing.

12. The Capo for my guitar -- not sure where the guitar is at the moment.

13. A tube of Neosporin. You have kids, you understand.

14. A ten foot, kangaroo skin, 12 plait, bullwhip. Well, where do you keep yours?

15. An insurance card.

16. A JVC video camera, with the video I shot in Disneyland. Six months ago. That I'm going to do something with any day now.

17. A torn envelope that has the words "Battle of the Planets" written on it. I'm a notorious note writer, and even more notorious carrier around of notes. Most notorious of all, usually when I get around to reading the notes that I keep in my pocket -- after a month or two, I find that they are no longer relevant.

18. Two iPods. Both mine. Because two is better than one.

19. Forrest Gump. The DVD, not the guy.

20. An external hard drive that is currently NOT backing up anything on my computer -- even though the Mac keeps asking for it.

21. An SD card reader. I used to be a photographer...

22. Batman.

23. A calculator.

24. Address labels sent from one of those groups that hopes you'll just be generous and send them money for going to the effort to send you something that you never asked for. I would you know, but my name isn't Christopher Thornbald -- though I've considered changing it to that, since that's what I've been called most of my life.

25. A yellow Kazoo. What can I say? I look for inspiration anywhere I can.

I'm stopping at 25, because this has been far more effort than I had intended to exert this evening.

So, tell me, what does your kitchen table look like?


{krista} said...

Looking at my table... I have a ... cat. And I think that's far worse than having a table you can't see the top of. And even though you can see the top of my table, we also use the table attached to our legs because the TV is far better entertainment than yelling at the cat to get off the table so we can eat on it. But I like to pretend we are a civilized family and actually eat there, so I keep it cleaned off, just in case.

Suzanne said...

I am a Nazi about keeping the K table cleared! That does not mean that nothing is ever on there.....Believe me, EVERYONE tries to dump stuff on there, and then when they set the table, they move all that stuff to the kitchen desk.....it means I am constantly HARPING on everyone that, "Your backpack/leftover pretzels/books/used tissues/dyed easter eggs/money/chess pieces/blankets/lip balm/mail/coupons/photos/last year's art project, DO NOT belong on the table!!"
The fam may never be "on board" with my desire. boo hoo!

Emily said...

Mine's looked like that before. Well, ok, no whip, but we do have Hello Kitty earphones.

Every once in a while it stresses me out, I put everything in a pile and give people 5 mintues to find it a home or it goes in the trash.

Back to this whip...so can you actually do some Indiana Jones moves with it or do you just carry it around so people think you can??