Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Hiccups

I've had the hiccups three times today. I get them quite often.

And, I don't get the little baby kind of hiccups. Mine are the brain rattling, 12 on the Richter Scale, belch into a megaphone, decalcify your spinal column, type of hiccups. They hurt, they last forever, and if I get them once in a day, they continue to come back, all day long.
My personal opinion on most hiccup cures is that your subconscious mind becomes so embarrassed by what you're doing, that it gives the command to cease and desist.
For instance, my wife and my son, swear by the "drink upside down, from the far side of the glass" method. I'm not always a stickler for reason, but this just seems like something some frat boy got one of his drunk buddies to do one time. Right before wrestling in a tub of Jell-o with a kangaroo.


I embarrass myself on a regular basis, and I'm trying to cut down. I see no purpose, and besides, I can't do it without pouring all the water up my nose. So, I'd like to try something that might allow me to retain a shred of dignity -- after becoming a father, I have so little left.

The one cure that I've found to work every time, is more hideous than it sounds. You eat a HEAPING tablespoon of straight sugar. It is not easy to eat that much sugar at one time -- and I have a sweet tooth (and the root canals to prove it).  

I don't care what Mary Poppins says.

ps  I suppose I flatter myself, that some of you may have tried to comment on this blog for a while yesterday, and were unable to.  Blogger is introducing some new aspects to the comment forms. They say it's a great addition. And they're right, if you don't ever want another comment on any of your posts. I'm sure they'll work it out, but in the mean time, I've made a couple of adjustments, and I think you should be able to comment here now. 

You know, if you wanted to.

5 comments:

Catey said...

How is it that Aaron has spent so many years around you-with hiccups like that-and he makes fun of my hiccups?! And the real irony is that not only are mine freakishly loud and painful as well, the only thing that ever works for me is the sugar. Go figure.
You know, he often tells me how alike we are. I'm kinda getting freaked out now....

Catey said...

I'm replying to your comment on my comment here in your comments.
Actually, I have no problem eating sugar by the spoonful. Yes, I know, that's just wrong. I have problems. *shrug* Could be worse. I could end up with water up my nose.

Alexandria said...

lol thanks for the great laugh this morning.

Good N Crazy said...

Wait...new comment forms for blogger? OH PLEASE OH PLEASE tell me they will include an EMAIL box!!! Please tell me if it DOES change??

Yippee!

Oh and hiccups? Is that a man thing? My husband's hiccups are awful, as in gross sound like he's near vomiting...I'm offering the sugar cure next time...course he's diabetic and he'll be in a small coma...but should stop the hiccups!

Jonny's Mommy said...

I drink a glass of water really fast and I think it is more the holding of the breath than the actual drinking that does it. When my husband has the hiccups I tell him I am pregnant again, but this time with twins. After he wakes up the hiccups are gone.