31 Posts in 31 Days: #14
(I'm afraid I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel tonight.)
Once I was driving along a road in Layton, Utah. As I looked out of the passenger side window, I beheld one of the most amazing sights I had ever seen.
The BIGGEST white sheep I had EVER seen. These things were gigantic!
These sheep made such an impression on me that I mentioned it to my wife when I got home that night. She was not as impressed as I had hoped she would be. In fact, she seemed, dare I say, indifferent.
Well, that would never do.
I would take her to my ginormous sheep, and by gosh, then she'd have a little more respect!
A couple of nights later, I took Sharon to see the eighth wonder of the world -- the world's biggest sheep.
Here's a transcript of the conversation, pretty much verbatim:
Me: There they are! Look at the size of those sheep!
Me: (flabbergasted) RIGHT THERE! How can you not see them?!
Sharon: (Looooooonnnnnnnnnnnng pause, and with a quizzical, incredulous you-are-the-dumbest-person-I-have-ever-met look) Those?
Me: (triumphant) Yes those! I think we need to call Guinness or something....
Sharon: Those are cows.
Sound of needle scratching on record. Sound of squealing brakes. Sound of large gong. The skies open, the rays of illumination shine down.
Me: I'll be darned, they are cows.
(Remembering back, even in my memory, the image in my mind is obviously a cow, but somehow, in that first instance, my brain labeled them sheep, and it stuck. As soon as Sharon said "cows" I knew that's what they were).
I believe in Bigfoot. And one of the standard criticisms of Sasquatch witnesses is that they must have misidentified a bear. I always thought that that was a bunk argument -- even under duress, a giant, bipedal primate does not look like a bear.
Does not look like this:
But don't take my word for it. Because This:
Does not look much like this either.