Thursday, June 21, 2012

Photostory Friday: 13 Things I Hate About My Son

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Thirteen things I hate about my son.

Matthew turned thirteen today and, frankly, I'm not very pleased about this fact, and here are the thirteen reasons why:

1. I hate that Matt is so easy going and even keeled. Nothing bothers him. Ever. And it constantly reminds me that I worry too much about everything.

2. I hate that Matthew's smile is going to attract a lot of pretty girls. Don't we have enough girls around this place?

3. I hate that Matt is just plain cooler than I will EVER be.

4. I hate that Matt lives in a world, where evil is bigger and scarier than anything anyone has ever seen.

5. I hate that Matthew's example of unconditional love can't be felt by more people. He makes loving anyone look like child's play.

6. I hate Matt's smelly feet. No, seriously, I HATE his stinky, odor of death, rotten, if-they-were-mine-I'd-self amputate, disgusting feet.

7. I hate Matt's friends. They are so loyal. So noble. They make the rest of us look like amateurs.

8. I hate that Matt will do anything I ask him to -- one of these days it's going to get us both in trouble.

9. I hate that on our last hike, Matthew finally outpaced me. It doesn't mean I'm slowing down. It DOESN'T!

10. I hate that Matt has no qualms whatsoever about dropping everything to play catch with me. I could get more accomplished if he wasn't so accommodating. When your son is one of your best friends, it's just WAY too easy to go and play, when you should be doing more important things like......well, I can't think of anything more important right now....

11. I hate that my dad never knew Matthew. I feel my dad watching, when my son and I play basketball, and I know he hates not being here too.

12. I hate that I will never be as powerful an example of all that is right and noble and good to Matthew, as he always will be to me.

13. I hate that for thirteen years -- since the day he unexpectedly arrived five weeks early, since the day we brought him home from the hospital with an oxygen tube taped to his giant cheeks, since the day that he took his first steps (when he FINALLY got around to it), since the days he had to repeat everything Buzz and Woody said before he went to sleep, since the first time he was able to throw a football across the entire yard, since the day he scored his first soccer goal, since the day we saw BYU comeback and beat Utah  State, since his voice began to change, since his feet got bigger than mine, since I realized that I don't think I could go more than a couple of days without his smile and the warmth he brings to our home -- I've known that as the years go by, eventually we'd get to the point where he was closer to leaving than staying.

I hate that.


Kelly Deneen Raymond said...

What a sweet, sweet wonderful post. Matthew is very lucky to have you as his dad. And I'm sure he doesn't hate that.

Adrianne said...

U have a good boy!! Keep him close to you so he will keep coming back! He is going to be such a ladies man! Hope he had a good Birthday! Tell him Blake still misses playing with him!!!

SalGal said...

Ya know, technically #4 isn't something you hate about your son... I'm just sayin'. ;^)